Joy, yes, Writing, not so Much.

Actual sign at local gas station - the one on my computer should read "Screen is blank, because writer is not bright"

Have felt quasi queasy all day and it's time to admit why - no, not the flu, or food poisoning or even just an old fashioned belly ache. I am sick about the book I am trying to write.
Ever happen to you?
Ever doubt every scene... every sentence... every syllable? That's where I'm at. I don't know that I can do this anymore. Not writing in general. Writing in specific. That is to say, this book. Just don't know if I can do this book.

You know that game people play - If I won the lottery? Well, if I won (which would be doubly amazing because I don't PLAY it) but if I won, I'd stop writing the books I am paid to write and start writing the books I was born to write.

Makes me a little sad to see that written out, but it's true. It stays.

Years ago there was a lot of over lap and it is one of the great blessings in my life, for which I will be forever grateful, that I have had the opportunity time and again to write books that formed in my being and poured out from my heart (with a lot of help from my brain and a WHOLE LOT OF AMAZING EDITORS). Characters that stay with me today like old friends, quote worthy phrases, settings that are more real to me then places on the globe I only know through photographs and from 7th grade social studies class. I miss those people, those places, those phrases.

Now I sit at my computer for hours with my stomach in knots and my shoulders slumped, feeling beat up and defeated. For the record, I have felt this way about other books, some of which turned out pretty good. It's just that the longer I write, the more time it takes for me to find the pulse of the story. The more times I can't seem to get it right the less hope I can muster that I can ever get it right.

That's where I am tonight. Tomorrow I will get up and flip a couple of scenes around (duh, the cute meet adds poignancy to the dad tucking his kids in alone and suddenly the characters are real and their conflict is clear) and try again to get it right. That's what writers do.


We struggle to get the words right. We wrestle our inner doubts to the ground (then let them back up, like too small fish tossed back into the sea to do battle with another day). We write.

At least I hope this writer will.

Where Do You Get Your Ideas?

I go outside and look at stuff. Yes, it's that boring. And that fascinating. Me, I go to local antique malls and flea market style malls among other things - like always going to the World's Longest Yard Sale and it's many imitators that crisscross Kentucky in the spring.

Oh and a couple times  a year a major antique event. So for fun today and because I am so sick of writing advice and there is soooo much out there, more photos of things that have inspired me - today's version - places I go to let my mind relax and unravel plot problems.

The Plot Doctor

When you grow up with a writer as a mom, this may happen to you - you may tend to think in terms of plots dos and don'ts and want to create make-believe people. Just for fun, my son's YouTube video:

 You can visit his review site athttp://thecartoonatic.com/

More Better

More Better shots of the view around my county - These scenes are why I love writing about small towns and scenic America. Well, okay I like the people as well but, um, am not brave enough to go up and snap photos of local characters like the white bearded man my family calls 'feral grandpa' because he lives and looks just like we think a grandpa would if left on his own in the wild :)

Winter Day, Spencer County, Kentucky

If these photos taken in the country side near where I live don't lower your blood pressure, then I don't know what will. Well, meds, of course, but for just feeling peaceful and serene, come and take a drive through snowy Spencer County with me.

Farmland and old houses that once were someone's home

Another cemetery. They punctuate the countryside with old tombstones that speak of history and humanity. It might seem creepy, but they are actually very peaceful looking.

LOTZ more

Just rewatched the American Pickers episode and see that many of the things I shared were featured on that show so sharing a few more to sort of 'flesh' out how awesome this spot is.

Louisville is full of hidden gems like this, the whole area is and it's been my joy for many years to seek them out and from now on I plan to share them here - maybe as an inspiration for writers, writing prompts or to encourage people to come explore for themselves - no matter why you stop and look, you'll find a treasure!

Why Aren't You Planning a Visit to Louisville?

This is what I ask people all the time. I love my adopted hometown. I love the way it looks, I love the way it feels, I love the way it embraces eccentricities and arts with similar zeal. And I love the people. I especially love it when all of that converges!

as it did last spring when my husband and I were driving around old Louisville looking for a neighborhood pub to grab lunch and came across a corner lot treasure trove that made us stop.

We couldn't believe our eyes!

As we got out to admire what was clearly an homage to the art of the deal and the joy of junk, neighbors called out: "Stick around. He's on his way over to meet a guy. He might let you in."

He didn't let us in. He did enjoy us ooohing and ahhing and asking where he found this and what was that for. He also gave us a souvenir - a couple of never filled Billy Beer cans! Seems Falls Brewery in Louisville canned the stuff and when it went out of style, Jerry got a hold of the cans that had yet to be filled and has cases of them. He did say maybe we could come inside but then 'the guy' showed up and 'the guy' spoiled the fun by wanting to buy something -- and not wanting to meet Jerry's price. He was done. He had to things to do. More collecting I reckon.

If you are a fan of American Pickers on the History Channel then you saw bits and pieces of Jerry Lotz's little corner of chaos. Don't ask me where it is or how to get there - but if you're a friend or family and feel like paying us a visit, we wouldn't be opposed to driving around trying to find it again - because it was well worth getting lost to find this kind of treasure - and you might get your own Billy Beer can!

Cat and Mouse and Muse

It happened just last night. One of those moments when, in years past I'd have thought, I'll be writing about this in letters for the next month but now I simply think Blog Fodder! (Okay, first I thought about getting the Flip Cam and recording it for You Tube, but two things stopped me - it would have been too long and, as it turned out, anti-climactic and the fact that people would have thought it was staged).

It was late... lateish. I was in my jammies - actually I was cold so I was in a big pink onsie with built in bunny slippers. Through a series of events involving a cat who can open the backdoor but like most children, can't be bothered to close it properly, a mouse got in the house.It couldn't have been inside long, the dogs went on high alert immediately. I made son peer under the couch as I tipped it back, a teeny gray streak makes its way to the TV cabinet. Hubby, who is on the other couch, doesn't even lift his head but is certain son and I have over active imaginations. Hilarity ensues - if by hilarity you mean the insanity of people not wanting to hurt the little fellow (beginning with my son pointing out that my allowing him to watch cartoons gave him an unrealistically anamorphic view of mice as clever, cat outwitting good guys). Here's the plan: we will line up the furniture in our living room to direct the mouse back out the door. Son will shine big ol' light behind TV cabinet. Husband will poke behind cabinet with a tennis racket. I will shepherd mouse out with broom if need be. Need did not be. Mouse scurried out while we weren't looking (I know because it scared the neglectful door opening car out on the deck - yes, that's how I found out, my cat was cowered down unable to move because there was a mouse in the doorframe.

A writer chasing a muse is a lot like a family deciding they can direct and accidental intruder mouse. The more plans they put in place to make things happen the way they want, the more chance that the muse/mouse will slip away while you're busy doing other things. This is good for the mouse. Less so for the writer and muse.

Write today. Forget about getting everything lined up just right.